Top 5 Alternative Facts About Cars

What are alternative facts?

Unless you have been living under a rock, you’ve probably heard the phrase “alternative facts” being tossed around quite a bit recently. That’s because Counselor to the President Kellyanne Conway said that press secretary Sean Spicer gave alternative facts in regards to the crowd at President Trump’s inauguration. Spicer claimed in his first press briefing that Trump’s inauguration ceremony drew “the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration – period – both in person and around the globe,” which has been proven to be incorrect.

The idea of alternative facts is entertaining (and terrifying) and we wondered how would it affect the automotive industry if automakers and the automotive media did the same?

SEE ALSO: Donald Trump Threatens the Canadian Auto Industry

Just to be clear, we’re well aware that April’s Fools is months away, but we just couldn’t help but jump on the “alternative facts” bandwagon.

There’s a common misconception in the automotive world that rear-wheel drive is superior in every way to front-wheel drive. But that’s simply just not true. Luckily, Dodge has learned from its mistakes with its potent Hellcat models and has decided to right all its wrongs to prove a point. As a result, the next-generation Hellcat models will be front-wheel drive in a bid to fend off the new Honda Civic Type R that’s finally heading to the U.S. Volkswagen better watch its back, because the Dodge Hellcat will definitely be searching out a Nurburgring front-wheel-drive lap record.

Despite Fiat Chrysler Automobiles CEO Sergio Marchionne begging people to not buy the Fiat 500e, it has gone on to become the best-selling electric car of all time. Tesla? Never heard of them. Marchionne admitted that the company loses $14,000 each time a Fiat 500e is sold. But car shoppers want to stick it to him and the giant automaker, buying up the 500e in bunches knowing that FCA is losing money on each sale. We’re a bit skeptical about it being the best-selling EV of all time, but counting how many cars are sold isn’t an exact science, so we can’t really prove it to be true or false.

It pays to be featured in a hit television show like Breaking Bad. When Walter White’s Pontiac Aztek first made an appearance on the show, car shoppers everywhere scrambled to their local Pontiac dealership, or what was left of them, looking to get their hands on this avant-garde crossover. Much to their disappointment, they quickly learned the Aztek faded out of production in 2005. Pontiac didn’t discontinue the Aztek due to poor sales. It was actually because the American automaker realized it had such a rare hit on its hands that it wanted to preserve the prestige of owning an Aztek, essentially making it a limited-production model, like a Ferrari or a Lamborghini. Combine that with the fact that Pontiac as a brand faded away in 2010, and it’s hardly a surprise to hear the Aztek is such a hit years later.

It may only be 17 years into this century, but already automotive journalists worldwide can’t fathom a more beautiful or attractive car will ever be created in the next 83 years. So there you have it, the Pontiac Aztek is the most attractive car of the century.

Tesla just began rolling out the software for its second-generation Autopilot hardware, dubbed HW2. The American automaker promises HW2 will eventually allow its vehicles to drive fully autonomously once the software catches up. But never to sit idle, the company is already plotting the third-generation Autopilot hardware that will likely be called HW3. And with it, Tesla will include a personal chauffeur with every new vehicle. Sure, the car itself will drive on its own without any human interaction, but how boring would that be? Tesla is well aware of all the attention Autopilot has received, with some saying it’s irresponsible to beta test such a complicated system in the real world. So now, each Tesla will just come with a human being, ready to occupy the driver’s seat at the owner’s whim so everyone feels safe on the roadways.

You simply can’t trust anything the media says or reports these days. It’s all fake news, especially everything that has been targeting Volkswagen and its clean diesel engines. So what if the EPA says the German automaker has been cheating on diesel emissions tests and that Volkswagen’s TDI engines actually emit a lot more emissions than they claim? Who do they think we are, blindly listening to tests and science! Sad! If you care any bit about global warming and preserving our planet, you better get your hands on a Volkswagen TDI because there’s no better way to save the Earth. Forget everything you know about electrification!